[XVII]

When he woke up with a syringe inserted into the back of his hand, Jun Ran heard someone outside the door speaking in a lowered voice.

"The company side I and Lan Yue has been concealed, this year you are how to him I also see, with all due respect, I think you will not last."

"I know ......" Gu Xiran's voice was tired, "I met him was a miracle, not to mention being together for so long, many times I even felt ...... He does not belong to this world."

The two were silent.

"I want you to leave him. Sorry, I have investigated you, you have black history, and your current occupation ...... If this gets out, Jun Ran won't have to mix. He is still young, has no heart and no education, if he is snowed his whole life is over."

"I am clear about what you said, when Jun Ran is well I will talk to him to understand. The good get-together, I will not dwell on it."

"That's good, it's not easy for me to pull an artist who just debuted, I hope you can understand."

"Hm, Goodbye."

Gu Xiran's voice had been calm, tired, and gentle as he sent Hu Yu out and closed the door. The corners of his mouth finally collapsed, good get-together, how many times has he said good get-together, Jiang Hu do not see.

This time really want to get together well and never see each other again.

In the room, Jun Ran closed their eyes. The pillowcase has been changed, and the dark blue color set off the whole face white and clear.

Gu Xiran gently stroked his face, full of pain.

The universe is flooded, the sea is changing, infinite space-time, the galaxy, the solar system, the earth, nearly seven billion people in this world, which person's life is not a snap of the fingers. They have crossed paths in the most intimate way, and that's all there is to it. In the late-night kiss, ear to ear, skin to skin, a long time, even intertwined are desperate.

We are just as lonely.

Gu Xiran always woke up before dawn, remembering his hometown in the south when he was young. He rode his bicycle every day past a white church, the bell tower emitted a burst of bells, a sound that reached far away.

There was sadness among the morning bells and evening drums. Dim and yellow, the smell of life and death.

Suddenly I don't know where I am, who is lying next to me, his name, my own name, what city he is in, and why I am so empty.

The self that never grew up in the heart will still pray devoutly in front of the priest. The last of the sunlight through the stained glass, flecks of dust.

That child said I want to have a cat.

I want to be loved.

I want to be hugged.

If I have sinned, I want to be forgiven by God.

There seems to be a break in the ages, not so much as the years that followed. He was still the kid on his knees, his heart saying, I want to be forgiven.

Later he did not believe in God.

Gu Xiran carefully kissed Jun Ran's broken lips, carefully contained. A very cherished kiss, this is the wound he gave.

There will never again be such a person, with an unsuspecting posture suddenly broke into his life, too fast to refuse. Those pale blue eyes always look like tears. The look of fear and helplessness in the crowd. The gentle and unaware eyes.

Like that young self.

Goodbye, my young man.

From now on, the sky is high and the sea is wide, you will be in a very high place, many years later to think of me how the expression.

Dear, dear.

Goodbye.

*

*

He knows that the identity of the artist is special, say the wrong sentence can be drowned by one person a mouthful of spittle, and can only be endured by one person, aggrieved can not hit back, and people's words can be fearful.

The people's mouths are full of gold, the accumulation of ruined bones. He and Jun Ran things can not see the light, not to mention Jun Ran still have to stay in the circle, this section is always Jun Ran's black history, in case of future digging out by people with a heart also have to rely on the company to solve it.

This world does not allow them to hold hands in the sun, and continue, but also can only sneak.

Jun Ran is how proud of the person na, a bones eyebrows, he deserves to live openly and elegantly, and should not be topped with the name may explode at any time.

He can't be the same as himself.

The world is difficult, and the sea of suffering is boundless, in fact, there is no turning back is the shore of the world, wrong is wrong, wrong step, wrong step, can only be wrong to go on, a road to black to old age to death.

Jun Ran's face is always innocent innocent look, he does not understand the world is dangerous and does not need to understand.

When the break is not, but suffers from its chaos, it can still pull out.

Which person did not meet a slag when he was young, he thought he was probably the most colorful in Jun Ran's twentieth year, as a slag.

The first call is not 120, he called directly to Hu Yu.

The TR, which has been operating for many years with plenty of experience, always has its own methods and contacts.

After the night, Jun Ran has been coughing, the corners of their eyes are red, and their face is worse.

The doctor Hu Yu hired couldn't find out what was going on and suggested they go to the hospital for a general checkup.

Gu Xiran looked at the back of his hand nearly transparent skin on a needle hole, the heart can not say what feeling.

The man did not say a word, hanging on by the infusion every day, almost refused to eat a mouthful of food. Gu Xiran fed him water, his lips tightly pursed, dry and cracked lips with a wound.

He looked all painful.

This person is angry. The usually well-behaved and gentle person has a temper, no matter how to coax, it does not work.

Gu Xiran can only use cotton swabs dipped in water to moisten him while he sleeps, apply lipstick, and steal a bit of fishy.

Anyway, sooner or later go, while people are still around to kiss, later can only watch TV to see the poster brush screen.

Gu Xiran is very melancholy. He does not believe that there is anyone in this world who can not live without who, there will always be an adaptation period. Jun Ran has not yet left he has been unable to let go. The few moon seedlings in the plastic bag he still did not have the heart to throw away, and bought a larger porcelain pot to raise. The leaves are a bit yellow, I don't know if they can live.

If not, he can only buy a few more plants online to plant.

If it dies, Jun Ran will be very sad.

When Jun Ran is sad, Gu Xiran will have a kind of self-reproach that should go to hell.

He was beaten to death without a word of complaint.

He owes him a lot.

*

*

In the afternoon. Gu Xiran received a call from his boss.

"What? Now it's annual leave, boss you are teasing me again ...... Shen Shao? Shen Shao who I do not remember how, care of him Shen Shao is now very busy ah let the year-end awards are going to die well!"

The boss there is very proud to say, "Shen less you heard, really he is not willing to come not I do not mean enough."

Gu Xiran's cold sweat came down at that time.

When the boss finalized the package drive three hours, the year-end bonus doubled. Gu Xiran went into the room and kissed Jun Ran's eyebrows, he slept very quietly. Food was warm in the kitchen, left a note and went out.

He is now mixed out, a dance-by-the-minute price. Shen Shao held him up that year, the face that should be given must still be given.

Gu Xiran has a special feeling for dance. His mother is a dance teacher in a small southern town, On hot summer afternoons, she always wears a pair of thin high heels wandering on the wooden floor, high heels make a "da da" sound, and the slender ankles have a fragile beauty. Gu Xiran was impressed by her dancing suddenly on her long skirt with her high heels as she heard the piano music suddenly coming from the window; sometimes she sat on the window sill wearing a plain cheongsam with large peonies, looking quiet and peaceful, waiting for someone, while the vinyl record of the old gramophone sang Anita Mui's "Seems Like Someone from the Past".

He inherited his mother's talent for dancing, his character, his appreciation of beauty, and his lack of belief in love, and a large part of it came from the woman with distant eyes in that small southern town.

Gu Xiran is not from a scientific class, he dances without so many rules and regulations, often how comfortable how to come. The eyebrows with flirtatious and teasing, the eyes sober and detached, all teasing sickly color.

It is not possible to say that the hooks. This may be inherited from that woman, they dance when they look amazingly similar.

The people that Gu Xiran knows are very mixed, and he plays a big and crazy game with the shelter of his boss, but in the end, there are people who do not dare to offend.

He has self-awareness, and the proportion pinched is very accurate. Naturally, there are people who love the tone of his life and death.

Take people's money, give people a show.

He is very professional with ethics.

And then home late at night, Shen Shao invited Wine please sing, and three hours were dragged into six hours.

The house is very dark, Gu Xiran gently opened the door, the room has no one.

The yellowing moon seedlings on the coffee table are gone, and the daffodil pots pressed with Jun Ran's family belongings have not been touched, or a few cards and some pink tickets.

Gu Xiran immediately phoned Hu Yu.

He lost the person watching.

The first month in the north is cold, Jun Ran did not bring a coat to go out.

Gu Xiran drove all night to find it.

Panicked, really panicked. His body did not get well, and for a few days did not eat anything, this weather if you fall outside, will soon be frozen. When the time comes, a cover of snow, the person is gone.

Gu Xiran a street to find, he drove very slowly and kept looking around, burning out the cigarette-burned mouth before throwing.

The CD played "Legend" on a loop over and over again.

I was distracted.