I stood in front of the counter of a convenience store, looking at the colorful cigarettes behind the counter. My teeth clenched down on the tender flesh inside my mouth.

"Sir, the total is thirty-six point eight. May I ask if you will be paying in cash or by mobile payment?" The bank teller turned the screen towards me and smiled.

I rubbed the seam of my pants with my fingers, took out my phone and opened the scanning app, and said, "Pay with my phone."

"Please swipe here, thank you."

As I walked out, carrying my bag, I couldn't help but turn around and take another look inside the counter.

Walking out of the convenience store, I turned into the nearby vegetable market. It's now after ten in the morning, a time when very few people would come out to buy vegetables. But I come here every day at this time because I don't want to make a nauseating gesture in the crowded market filled with fish, shrimp, crab, beef, and mutton, surrounded by the various pungent smells. I don't want every familiar person to see me and start with, "Xiao Qiao, are you feeling unwell? Why have you lost so much weight? Why do you look so haggard? Do you need to go to the hospital? Do you want me to accompany you?"

This makes me feel embarrassed, lost, and uncertain. I can't just tell them like a woman, "Sorry, I'm just pregnant."

Although I really want to tell them this, I can't do it. I cannot imagine how they would look at me with what kind of eyes, and I can't even believe that they would still consider me as a person. I think if I really told them, they would find a way to send me to a research center.

I took a walk around the vegetable market and headed home carrying just enough leafy greens for two meals and a little bit of cold mixed vegetables.

After arriving home, I changed into loose loungewear and threw myself onto the soft, spacious bed, gazing absentmindedly at the ceiling.

It has been two weeks since my first visit to the hospital. During this time, I went again to find that doctor and requested another examination. The doctor's last name is Sun, in his forties. He readily agreed and took me out of the hospital to a private clinic where he personally performed an ultrasound on me.

The instrument slid across my abdomen, enveloped in a cold liquid. Dr. Sun pointed at the computer screen, where a tiny black dot, about the size of half a pinky fingernail, emitted a halo of light. He told me that it was the fetus in my belly. Suddenly, a strange feeling welled up inside me.

As a man, I never imagined that I would have the opportunity to personally conceive a child in this lifetime, but he has truly found his way into my body. This child already exists within me, blending with my flesh and blood, intertwined with my veins and arteries. This feeling is so extraordinary, and only now do I truly realize that I am indeed pregnant.

I stared at the screen with a determined gaze, feeling a slight moistness in my eyes. I thought to myself, I should keep this child. He is my own flesh and blood, I should keep him, give birth to him, be there for him as he grows, and watch him grow into a towering tree.

Dr. Sun saw that I was excited and reassured me, saying, "Whether it's a woman or a man, conceiving a life is something to be happy about. However, it is important to control your emotions during pregnancy to avoid any negative impact on the fetus."

"I understand," I raised my hand and wiped my eyes, saying, "Doctor, I would like to keep this child."

Dr. Sun's face showed no surprise as he nodded, "I can tell that you are a sentimental person. As a doctor, I choose to respect every life, but Mr. Qiao, there are some things that I must make clear to you, and you should be mentally prepared."

"You speak," he said.

The current technology is indeed very advanced, but nothing is omnipotent. Giving birth to a child is still risky for women, let alone for men.

"I know," I nodded.

"Women conceive and nurture their embryos, which grow inside the womb. However, men do not have a womb, as you can see," Dr. Sun raised his hand and drew a circle on the screen. "You also lack a womb in your body. The embryo's growth relies solely on a temporary pseudo-amniotic membrane, which is less than one-fifth the thickness of a normal uterus. Therefore, as the pregnancy progresses, both the life of the carrier and the fetus are at risk."

I remained silent, pondering over the words of Dr. Sun that left me trapped in a long and profound silence.

To be honest, I am very afraid of death. Everyone thinks that special forces soldiers are not afraid of death, but in fact, we are also afraid of death because we are the ones closest to death. We have experienced life and death, so we understand the importance of being alive the most. There are many people in this world who want to live but lose their lives due to various artificial or accidental circumstances. Only we can understand this kind of pain. Therefore, unless necessary, we will not make jokes with our own lives.

And now, I am faced with a crucial decision in my life, whether to stay with him or give him up.

I was thinking, do I need to risk my life for this little life that I have never met before?

Dr. Sun remained silent and gazed at me quietly.

I closed my eyes, and what appeared before me was the scene from when I was seven years old. It was the year when my mother resolutely abandoned me and left. It was also the year I became an orphan with no parents. My mother didn't want me, and my father drowned in the river due to alcoholism. Overnight, I became the jinx that everyone avoided.

I will never forget the scene of being sent to the orphanage. Auntie pushed me towards the door as I grabbed onto her hand, crying and shouting, saying that I would behave, that I would eat less. Auntie ignored my pleas, forcefully pushing me inside, then turned and disappeared without a trace...

All kinds of past events flashed before my eyes like a galloping horse. I lifted my hand and touched my face, feeling a chilling coldness on my cheek. Dr. Sun handed me a tissue, and I took it, wiping my face randomly with it. I said, "I've made up my mind. I want to keep him."

Dr. Sun looked at me kindly, his face filled with benevolence. "If you have made up your mind, I will seek assistance from a doctor friend of mine overseas. Over the years, he has been dedicated to researching male fertility issues and is an expert in this field. I believe he can provide you with the greatest help."

"Do I need to go abroad?" I asked.

"Not for now," Dr. Sun put away the device and handed me a few wet wipes, gesturing for me to clean my abdomen. "I will send your information over in the next few days and see how he responds. I will try to negotiate with him to let you stay in the country for the duration of your pregnancy, considering that the local diet would be better for you. However, you might need to go abroad for the delivery."

"I understand," I expressed my gratitude to Dr. Sun. If it weren't for him, even though I am a special forces soldier, I wouldn't know what to do now. "Thank you, doctor. I'll trouble you from now on."

After leaving the hospital, I passed by the entrance of a maternity store. I couldn't help but walk inside and admire the exquisite children's cribs and the adorable matching baby outfits displayed in the shop window... Now, those baby outfits and that little crib are in the guest room next to my bedroom.

In just a few days, I have purchased quite a few baby products for my home. The guest room cabinet is almost full. However, every day when I go out, I still can't help but buy things that I like and bring them home.

After lying on the bed for a while, I got up and went to the kitchen to prepare some food for myself. I rinsed a handful of rice, and finely chopped a few pieces of vegetable leaves. Just as I was about to pour them into the pot, my phone, which was placed on the living room table, rang.

Ever since I found out that I was pregnant, I took advantage of the opportunity of being temporarily suspended from work to apply for a long-term sick leave. Now, if someone is calling me, it's definitely not from the detective police team. So, who could it be?

I walked into the living room and picked up my phone. The screen displayed an unfamiliar number from another city. I answered, "Hello, who is this?"

There was silence for a moment, and a familiar voice sounded in my ear, "Qiao Yu, it's me."

I was stunned for a moment, feeling a bit bewildered. On the other end of the phone was none other than Shen Jialin, the father of the child in my belly.